Neil’s Jokes
I’m the lightest I’ve been in a year… 154 down from 177. To the comedy world, I’ve always been a lightweight!
My punch lines use the element of surprise. Like, “Surprise, Neil! Nobody’s laughing!”
While I play my guitar, the AUDIENCE gently weeps!
I want TV commercials that use real actors, not people.
Jobs…
I’m so bored, I’m hoping that Jehovah’s Witnesses knock on my door so we can discuss their pamphlets.
I suffer from “A fib”. In layman’s terms, I told a lie.
I stole one of your jokes. Petty larceny.
My favorite director is M. Night Shameonhim. My second favorite actor is Edward James Almost.
Gigs, News, Updates
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The Comedy Cures Foundation
November 17 is World Philosophy Day! “Does it exist?”
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November 15 is National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day! “Unidentified Rotting Object!”
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November 7 is Notary Public Day! “We certify it!”
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September 14 is National Live Creative Day! “Imagine that!”
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September 13 is International Chocolate Day! “Milk it!”
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Contact
Artwork by Gregory Siff is used throughout the site with the kind permission of the artist. GregorySiff.com