Neil’s Jokes
I’m the lightest I’ve been in a year… 154 down from 177. To the comedy world, I’ve always been a lightweight!
My punch lines use the element of surprise. Like, “Surprise, Neil! Nobody’s laughing!”
While I play my guitar, the AUDIENCE gently weeps!
I want TV commercials that use real actors, not people.
Jobs…
I’m so bored, I’m hoping that Jehovah’s Witnesses knock on my door so we can discuss their pamphlets.
I suffer from “A fib”. In layman’s terms, I told a lie.
I stole one of your jokes. Petty larceny.
My favorite director is M. Night Shameonhim. My second favorite actor is Edward James Almost.
Gigs, News, Updates
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The Comedy Cures Foundation
September 12 is National Day of Encouragement! “We know you can do it!”
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September 10 is National Iguana Awareness Day! “Especially if it’s in your hot tub!”
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September 9 is Hug Your Boss Day! “That’s a long reach if you still work from home!”
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September 8 is World Physical Therapy Day! “8-7-6… 5 more! You can do it!”
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Contact
Artwork by Gregory Siff is used throughout the site with the kind permission of the artist. GregorySiff.com